A Clean Page

A clean page to write my thoughts,
to bear my soul to the paper
and to myself.
The world doesn’t seem to care.
It tramples over my bruised and battered body
ignores my desperate plea for help.
this paper now become my refuge;
who if anybody is not indifferent
So I write and cry
On the no longer clean page.

Please Understand

Some one please hear me
Somebody please understand.
My intent was never to hurt
that bystanding man.
I was never one prone to violence;
never did i fight,
But my world shattered
at that cold and dreadful sight.
She was in his arms,
and he, in hers.
my love, my wife,
my very world
and in passion i acted,
just as in passion I loved
and, just back from the hunt,
I still had my gun
I pointed and missed
both he and she were spared,
but as for the bystanding man
in my aim I had erred.
 i regret that it hit another
don't think for a minute I regret my intent
for my wife was with my brother
and it was for he that the bullet was meant

When We Die

we live, and we die
with a smile pasted on
but it is a lie
among all the lies we spawn.
our own black swan
and we never think
and it was never agreed upon
that when we die we stink

Death is ever on the sly
worst than any con
and every outcast's junior high
and everything you once had is gone
with the same force of Genghis Khan
the same edge of a hard drink
and all our lies are stumbled upon
for when we die we stink

we can fuss and we can cry
but once we're gone we're gone
and days go by
but our lies live on
in the dark a black swan
 that can never sink
for when we die our lies live on
for when we die we stink


hiding behind a mask of brawn
your life you may want to rethink
for death see through the facade thereupon
for when we die we stink

sandie

who am I?
what am I doing here, you ask?
if i had an answer
then I wouldn't be in this position.
arms crossed against my chest
bound hand and foot.
An animal you say?
then I wouldn't feel such overwhelming pain.

crazy and a non-conformist
they label me.
but then again,
who are they?
label me at will
but who are you to judge?
have you experienced my experiences?
can you re-live my strife?
a brute, you question?
no, for if so then what is my life?

A padded cell you've chosen for me.
a room with no metal corners or cement walls
but do I really deserve to be here?
who's to say at all?
you may pick me up
you may carry me away
but i know that the only reason for your actions
is that i can't fit tidily in your idea of what should be.

could be would be.
and since there were already so many of you
I decided to be me.

always and forever

boldly she fell,
ever lingering at the corner of my eye
but falling all the same.
plunging down
silently she dropped.
dead weight,
without the will or thought to fight.
no sign of shame
these opaque tears of mine.
falling with all purpose and urgency.
falling as if to fill the crevice left gaping
by the one i once loved
and would now never love again.
knowing that every time she falls
i relive the pain again
always and forever

In The Dark

down here,
at the bottom of this well
i found something.
in this chasm,
so dark and deep
i located something i thought before
to be impossible for me.
down here
despite all the dark
i located that pinprick of light
and although it is unattainable
it is there
and once i saw it
i found hope
and the courage to go on

I Can't Live Without You

a word from you
would mend my broken heart.
a murmur would heal all the pains.
my thoughts are consumed,
engulfed, drowned;
to think is burdensome
a permanent drug
you have been to me
with effects lasting
to the far throws of eternity.
no obsession is more just.
my sweet, darling baby girl

now gone forever;
leaving me behind,
and not realizing.
 i can't and refuse to live without you.

my heart still yearns
my all was invested.
pieces of my soul have vanished;
vanished with you.
forever lost.
blinded by all the pain,
a resident evil
is your loss to me.
never can i release
not till all life, and love have ended
never was a pain so deep
my joy, pride and only son

with this gun cocked
my soul now at peace
tears streaming down my face
i can't and refuse to live without you